Sometimes we seek a fresh beginning, maybe because we messed up a job or an important relationship. Other times, a new start is presented to us in the ugly guise of illness, death of a loved one or a host of life-altering events.
At first, all we can see are smoldering ashes and feel pain from all of the losses. We ask repeatedly: “Why?” and “why me?” We may lose hope and become discouraged or even depressed.
Eventually, all of the other questions blend into a singular whisper of curiosity: “Now what?”
There’s no time table for when the shift happens in our thinking. If we are determined to move forward, refusing to give up on life and our selves, daring to believe that good can emerge from or in spite of the circumstances, we begin to think about our options. Maybe they are incredibly fanciful or even impossibly wild. No matter!
From different sources, I keep getting messages to never give up and that it’s not too late to start over. With little left to loose, it seems the stakes are lower than they’ve been in a long time. I am beginning to envision a variety of paths that weren’t available before. I’ve started thinking differently about what I want to do, and how, and where.
The last two major decisions I made were not the ones I wanted to make; they were ones I believed I had to make. At the time they seemed my only alternatives. I returned to Kansas City when I wanted to go back to Denver, and I took a job that I knew was wrong for me because I needed one. Good things have come from both of those choices, just as good things would have come from taking alternative actions. Likewise, difficult or unpleasant experiences would have happened elsewhere just as they have here because life is a mix.
I think it would be refreshing to live somewhere where I really want to be, to do work that suits me and in an environment that allows me to thrive. We all should have this at some point in our lives.
Phil Collins Take Me Home